Arlette of House Wood, Mother of Boys, Descendent of James Bucket: first coxswain of the first lifeboat on the Island, Descendent of Henry Bucket: first town sergeant of Ryde, The SUnburnt Queen of Downsview Manor, Khaleesi of the Great Unexplored Sea of the Soul, Breaker of Mental Chains, Slayer of Inner Demons, Ruler of Own Thoughts, Warrior Queen of Ehlers-Danlos, Lover of Dragons and Cats, Teacher, Student, and Traveller of Life’s Unfolding Journey!
I’m Arlette and I live a pretty amazing life, despite many challenges! It wasn’t always like this though, so I’m here to share with you the resources I’ve found so that you too can learn to ‘Love Your Life’!! 🙂
I’m blessed to share my life with the lovely, happy man on the left (Ian) my three beautiful sons, Alexander (14), Dominic (11) and toddler Benedict (yes, named after Mr Sherlock Cumberbatch himself!), two adorable rescue cats (Precious and Muffin), and six chickens (Shirley, Aurum, Molly, Ginny, Hermione and Luna)!
We are lucky to live on the beautiful Isle of Wight, in an awesome detached house that we manifested at a ridiculously low price, despite living in an area where even a tiny 2-bedroom semi-detached house costs way more than the 3 x average salary!
Despite being diagnosed with a genetic condition in December 2014, my children and I feel lucky enough not to be as badly affected by it compared to some people who have it and need repeated surgery, and we do our best to live life to the absolute fullest that we can. I do my best to stay as positive as I can and try to find something funny about feeling so awful every day!
My health had always been pretty good until a few years ago, when it rapidly began to decline from being able to run several businesses, being an active volunteer and contributor to my local community (I founded the Freecycle group on the Island and the Isle of Wight Red Tent group, and used to sit on various panels such as my local Sure Start Stakeholder group and the Maternity Services Liaison Committee), and home-educating my children, whilst a single Mum, to being in a lot of pain and experiencing such debilitating fatigue that on the worst days, even the effort of expanding my lungs to breathe was utterly exhausting.
Many days, I don’t have the energy to hold a book whilst lying in bed, to even be able to read. So, a complete change of lifestyle was forced upon me, and I had to find ways of adapting and accepting that life was probably never going to be the same again! I stripped back all the commitments, including finally accepting in 2015 that I’ll probably never feel able to teach my beloved NCT Antenatal Courses again, something that had been my passion after Alex was born in 2004! 2015 was a major year of transition and coming to terms with my new life, and I began to stop looking at this condition as a life sentence that had ruined my life, and start trying to see where I could still make life worth living again.
I began to realise that a lot of my self-worth came from what I did for others, my sense of giving to the world, and when I was no longer able to do that, I severely questioned my value, feeling I was now completely useless and worthless as I could no longer ‘give’ in the ways that I always had.
I’ve had to learn skills in self-care from scratch, and figure out what makes me happy, as up to then, I didn’t really know what I enjoyed. I had to learn that relaxing and looking after myself weren’t what I’d believed them to be; selfish luxuries and self-indulgent, but actually necessary to my very survival! It’s funny how it sometimes takes something as serious as a major health crisis for some people to realise they deserve the same love and care they readily and easily bestow upon others!
I’ve had to learn to ask for and accept help, which was very humbling for someone who was always the ‘helper’! My children have had to adapt and learn too, realising that Mummy is no longer able to do everything she always did. In some ways though, this has had benefits that I hadn’t anticipated, as it’s made them become more independent and self-confident. They were making their own packed lunches for school from the ages of 7 and 9, and by 10, my eldest was completely getting himself up and ready for school without any input (including nagging!) from me! As a result, he’s easily transitioned to high school and the greater requirements for personal discipline and responsibility demanded, and is happy and thriving there!
I’ve also had to start giving up my need to control so much! It’s a massive life lesson to suddenly have the ‘vehicle’ you go through life in, which has always been so reliable, suddenly fail you so spectacularly! And with a genetic condition, it’s not like you have much hope of a cure any time soon either, which can feel pretty demoralising at first!
I feel I have no control over how I feel in any given moment, so on rare days I can wake up feeling well with enough energy to actually do some housework (and believe me, those days feel like GOLD, and I actually feel excited when they occur!!), but then become worse as the day progresses. Or, more commonly, wake up feeling completely spent already, despite what I might have PLANNED for that day, and the best I can do then to spend time with my children is lie down and watch a film together. For a long time, I complained and railed against this state of affairs (sometimes, I still DO!)! But I’m learning to accept that this IS the way things are, and complaining about it just creates suffering in my own mind, which adds to the physiological stress in my body, and serves no helpful purpose really 😉
My interests are wide-ranging: from childbirth, parenting, natural health, being eco-friendly, to spirituality, entrepreneurship, and pets! I’ve created this website to highlight resources that I’ve found helpful on my own journey through life, and to still be able to share knowledge and wisdom on the topics I feel most passionate about! So you’ll find lots of resources especially on birth and parenting in ways that support evolutionary and anthropological needs, plus self-employment resources that could help YOU too share your gifts with the world, even from your own bed/sofa if you’re too ill to work outside the home 🙂
Why did I choose these particular colours for my website?
Magenta is a colour of universal harmony and emotional balance. It is spiritual yet practical, encouraging common sense and a balanced outlook on life, which is what I’ve had to become.
Magenta represents universal love at its highest level. It promotes compassion, support and kindness and encourages a sense of self-respect and contentment in those who use it. It can assist ambitions and desires to become reality.
Physiologically magenta helps us to flow with life and let go of old ideas.
Magenta is a strong and inspiring colour which can appear outrageous and shocking on one hand or innovative and imaginative on the other. It is particularly attractive to the non-conformists in the community. I’ve long been a bit different and ‘out-there’, part hippy, part rebel, but not enough to be ‘labelled’ as such (besides, I don’t like labels to define us – we are infinite and individual!)
Psychologically, turquoise represents clarity of thought and communication. It inspires self-expression, encouraging people to tune into their own needs.
Physiologically, turquoise calms the emotions and recharges the spirit, invigorating depleted energy levels and inspiring positive thought.
Turquoise is a beneficial colour for any business related to communication, including teachers, trainers, public speakers, media communication and computer technology.
Turquoise is a good colour for health clinics and practitioners as it balances the emotions and calms the spirit.