Tag: love

What to Look For in a Soul Mate

How do you know when you’ve found your soul mate?

Some people will tell you that they “just know”, while others can identify several characteristics and reasons why they seem to perfectly mesh with their relationship counterpart.

For those of us who haven’t found a soul mate yet, there are things we can be looking for to speed up the process. There are always going to be things we like and dislike about others, but the true test is deciding whether or not we can lovingly accept the negative attributes.

Sometimes we care about someone very much, but discover that there is some factor that we simply cannot accept for one reason or another.

Here are some factors to think about when looking for a soul mate:

  1. Morals & Beliefs. Everyone comes with their own set of morals and beliefs. We all know that we should be open, honest, and accepting of others. But oftentimes when our core beliefs differ, it’s hard to have a lasting relationship. This is why you’ll want to have deep discussions about faith, morals, and beliefs with potential partners. If someone isn’t a fit at this deep of a level, you should seriously consider whether the relationship is even worth getting serious about.
  2. Communication. You’ll hear over and over that communication is the key. There are different ways of communicating and you need to figure out the best way to communicate with your partner. At the same time you need to know that you can live with this communication method. Some partners are big on talking, while others are more sensitive to nonverbal communication.
  3. Respect. Does the potential partner respect you, your body, and your family? You’re one of a kind, so you shouldn’t give yourself to just anyone. Make sure he or she takes care of you and your family. You’re worth it!
  4. Family. You need to mesh well with their family and vice versa. Discussions about family also include your hopes and dreams when it comes to your own future family. Do you want to get married someday? If so, how many kids would you like to have?
  5. Personality. Your personality plays a big role in deciding your compatibility with others. However, it’s always up for debate whether or not it’s best to be with someone with a similar personality or someone with an opposite personality. In this case you’ll have to decide your own preference and see how it works out for you.
  6. Hobbies & Interests. It’s pretty certain that you won’t share every hobby and interest that your partner enjoys. However, it definitely helps the relationship when you have things in common. This will provide you with activities to do with each other in order to deepen your relationship. There will also be plenty of topics for conversation.
  7. Conflict. Even the most perfect couples deal with conflict from time to time. Both you and your partner need to learn the best methods to get through arguments effectively. Try not to lash out in anger, instead strive to understand your partner. Instead of playing the blame game, discuss your problems calmly. If your potential mate attacks you or consistently ignores your feelings, then it’s perhaps not a good fit.

Long Term Relationships

When you first meet someone, you may be attracted to his or her looks or personality. As you get to know each other better, you’ll be able to see the clues as to whether or not you’ve found your true soul mate.

Try not to rush things along because anything worth having is worth waiting for! At the same time, you definitely should be having deep conversations about future plans and beliefs at an appropriate time in the relationship. This way if you run into a snag and find out that you can’t be together, you won’t be as emotionally invested. After all, you don’t want to waste as much time in a dead end relationship.

You always have to keep your chin up and have hope. Keep looking with an open heart and mind, because everyone’s soul mate is out there somewhere.

Connecting Through Speaking the Same Love Language

Everyone needs to feel loved. It’s vital to know how you enjoy being loved, but also how to properly love othersΒ so they actually FEEL loved by you.Β  A doctor by the name of Gary Chapman became famous when he wroteΒ a book called The Five Love Languages.


There is a basic breakdown of five different love languages to make it easier for us to identify how to express ourselves to our loved ones. Once you’ve figured out what your partner’s love language is you’ll be able to show them how you feel in a way that is fulfilling to them.

For example, let’s say that your partner likes to hear the words “I love you” often. Even though they know that you love them, just hearing the phrase can brighten their day. But perhaps you thought that you should express your love by buying little gifts. Your loved one likely appreciates the gesture whenever you show your love, but at the same time it’s not their personal preference of how they like to receive love.

The Love Languages Explained

  1. Verbal Lovers. Like the example above, some people just like to hear gestures of love such as “I love you” and “I appreciate everything that you do.” For this type of person, you’ll want to provide constant encouragement, never letting things go unsaid.
    • Try verbalizing your appreciations in some way each day.
    • Don’t assume your partner knows what you’re thinking and feeling – speak up!
  2. Time Well Spent. One of the love languages has to do with spending quality time with your partner. This doesn’t mean just casual conversation; it means the times where your partner is your main focus. If your partner enjoys quality time, here are some things to consider:
    • Choose a certain time each day or week where you’re completely dedicated to your partner. This means that you need to shut off the TV, put down the paper, and take some away from the kids.
    • Think of activities you can do together to really connect.
    • Make sure you have a good relationship with yourself; it’s the only way you can truly connect with your partner.
  3. The Gift Giver. Another love language is one where your partner may enjoy giving and receiving gifts. This isn’t because they’re greedy; it means they’re visual people who enjoy seeing proof of your deepening relationship. If you’re with this type of partner, try these tips:
      • Even if you’re a big saver, make the effort to spend at least a little money or make some homemade or handmade gifts.
      • Leave loving cards and notes for them.
      • Don’t give gifts everyday, but give gifts that are meaningful.
  4. The Chores. We can’t forget the chores when it comes to a language of communication between partners. Since there are many things that need to get done around the house, it often causes problems when you try to figure out who’s doing what. Keep these tips in mind:
      • Everyone has different chores that they deem important.
      • Figure out which ones your partner doesn’t enjoy and do them.
      • Chores involve thinking ahead, which your partner will certainly appreciate.
  5. Physical Affection. The physical affection love language can get complicated. Expressing your love physically doesn’t only mean lovemaking. It involves simple touches too. Each partner will usually have some kind of opinion when it comes to this language:
    • Figure out which kinds of touches your partner enjoys, it may be a gentle rub of their shoulders or some cuddling while watching television.
    • This is equally important; figure out which touches irritate your partner.
    • Get to know your partner’s moods so you know when to express physical affection.

The Combination

Your partner will likely speak a certain combination of these love languages. As your relationship deepens, you’ll get to know your partner better and better. It may even help to outright discuss the topic of love languages with your partner to better understand each other.

 

Further Reading/Resources

The Five Love Languages

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