Parenting Baby B is a little like taking a 10lb + weight and fixing it permanently to your nipple!!! Your boobs are out more than Kim Kardashian’s butt! But your OWN ass is almost constantly welded to a chair, surrounded by everything you might need for the next 12 hours within grab range – snacks, water bottle, phone, breast pump, laptop, books etc.
Because you’re not going ANYWHERE!! Because whenever you try to unattach the 10lb + weight to do, oh I don’t know, trivial things like go to the loo or grab some more snacks, it gives off an instant loud klaxon noise, to alert the world that horrific child abuse is taking place 😉 And hearing that noise, and seeing that little face so unhappy, hurts my heart more than sitting in one position for hours on end hurts my body, even with my joints seizing up so that when I finally move, I’m like a cripple until I can stretch them out and gently ease them into moving again!
So it’s a good job that 10lb + weight occasionally opens its beautiful blue eyes, looks up at me from beneath long, beautiful eyelashes, and beams the most angelic smiles that would make even Emperor Palpatine turn away from the Dark Side 🙂 And is why, despite the challenges, I wake up every morning, feel my heart burst with pride and joy when I see that little 10 + weight, and attach it to me again, for another day of the same…
This idea also takes us right back to the importance of attachment and connection between babies and their caregivers 🙂 I don’t know why it seems so hard for modern society to grasp but we are a species that NEEDS attachments and social connections to thrive, and when we don’t get those, it creates social challenges, the consequences of which then spread out and affect many of us. Connection is key to solving a fair amount of societies ‘problems’, from what I’ve seen and researched over the years…
Someone recently asked the following question on children telling lies.
“Anyone got any advice in dealing with kids lying to you? My 5.5 yr old keeps telling lies, blaming her sister for things she did etc. I’ve tried talking to her about it and asking why she feels the need to lie and it’s because she thinks she’s going to get told off. I’m more upset by the lying than any of the things she’s done, some of which weren’t even naughty!!”
One of the things I read quite early on in the gentle parenting movement was to make it ‘safe’ for children to always tell the truth. They need your approval and acceptance, so telling them you feel disappointed in them takes that sense of approval and acceptance away from them, if you see what I mean, making them more likely to need to avoid that happening in the future, to preserve their sense of themselves as worthy of your love.
I’ve just been reading an ebook by Dr Robert Anthony, and in it was a lesson about the Titanic, which I’m going to paraphrase as I think it holds an important message.
As you probably know, the Titanic was the largest ship of her time and sank in the Atlantic whilst on her maiden voyage, with the loss of many lives. At the time she sank, there was another ship just 30 miles away, the California.