Leonie Dawson’s Shining Biz and Life Academy – a place of love, nurturing, support and compassion, along with eCourses, meditations, and other resources to help you Love Your Life even more! I’ve been a member for years and have gained so much from being part of this special community on the ‘net 🙂
“The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is”
My wonderful 9 year old son is so much like Jim Carrey! He is deeply sensitive to other people’s negative emotions and he tries so hard to transform those into positive ones by making people laugh. His auntie came to meet him when he was just a few hours old, looked into his eyes, and saw the light and laughter in them, even then. She declared that he was going to be a ‘cheeky little chap’, and he is indeed! He’s ‘the class joker’, the one who loves to make people giggle and raise their vibration. Interestingly though, he doesn’t like performing on stage – he’s a one-to-one person, tuning into individual feelings and doing what he can to help them feel better, whether it’s offering a hug, encouragement and support, or a silly joke to make them laugh.
What can YOU do today, with YOUR talents, to leave people feeling better after an interaction with you/your work…?
As we come to the end of a year and look towards the new one, it can be a time of unsettlement in our minds. Our minds start to ask us questions as we attempt to evaluate and judge our worth against some benchmark we’ve mentally created; “What did I achieve this year?”, “What losses did I incur?”, “Did I achieve my goals?”, “Did I even bother to SET any goals?”, and then we can slip into a sense of ourselves as a failure when we don’t ‘measure up’ to our preconceived expectations.
We can mentally put pressure on ourselves JUST by focussing on the concept of a year as a finite resource, which is contrary to the concept that the universe is abundant. So we look at that concept of these 365/6 days defined as ‘2015’ and imagine we have to achieve X,Y,Z by the time they are ‘over’.
But that’s a mental construct that keeps us trapped into limited thinking. How about seeing each new day as the start of the next cycle of 365/6 days, and giving up the idea that any goal is to be achieved within the limited container of the 365 days that have been called ‘2015’, or we’re a ‘failure’?
My 2015, as our part of the world calls it, has been pretty bloody awful in many ways; lots of letting go and releasing old attachments, illness etc etc. But there were also some highlights in there too, which I’ve added to my Page of Gratitude 🙂 I’d previously written off this cycle of 365 days as unlikely to achieve anything positive in for my business, due to all the personal challenges and transformations I’ve been going through. BUT today I’ve signed up to start a 30 day challenge for December with a biz mastermind group I’m a member of, and I’m going to see what I CAN get done between my self-care days (what I call the ‘bad days’ when I don’t feel well enough to do anything!), and see today as the start of a new cycle of 365 days to move forward from!
Just because the rest of the world tells you a year starts on Jan 1st doesn’t mean you have to stick with that thinking! Nature didn’t define Jan 1st as the start of her new year – she just continues on her journey each day, regardless of the mental constructs some of us humans place on defining and labelling her 🙂 If she HAD to choose a date to label as her new year, she’d have probably chosen a time when she was in a state of renewal, like Spring. But then, we can’t even define THAT properly because the concept of Spring differs depending on where in the world you are! Which is why it’s kind of ridiculous to slap labels onto nature in the first place 😉
We can take that view too and start exactly where we’re at right now! In those terms, nothing has failed ‘this year’ because a 365 day cycle is constantly renewing itself, just like our whole bodies are in a constant state of renewal!
Hope that helps shift your perspective to a more positive place!
A couple of days ago, my two sons and I went to see a genetic specialist, who confirmed a diagnosis of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. To quote EDS UK, this is “… a genetic connective tissue condition that is a multi-systemic syndrome. Connective tissue covers over 95% of your body so there is little that escapes the symptoms. ” It’s been described as a genetic ‘defect’ or ‘mutation’, and one of the diagnostic signs is that it makes our joints extra flexible, so we can bend them beyond what is considered normal.
In the medical community, we are considered to be somehow defective. The extra flexibility of the joints can lead to early onset osteoarthritis, and the muscles are constantly under greater strain trying to prevent the over-flexible joints from dislocating themselves whilst carrying out normal, everyday activities. Given the pain and fatigue I frequently feel these days, knowing that there IS a definitive reason for this is, in some ways, a relief, and means that it’s NOT just in my head; I actually DO now have a legitimate explanation for the way my body feels most days!
It’s not an easy thing to go from being fit, healthy and active to every day being punctuated by pain and exhaustion. In my teenage years, I was a good runner. Not the best, but good enough to win a few races and get a medal or two. My 20s involved quite a bit of moving around the UK, getting an education and then a career, aiming to build up a good, secure income and solid foundation for my future life. The house I currently live in was one of my pet projects when it was bought. I dreamed of transforming it into a beautiful home to have a family in, and then move on up the property ladder.
At that time I was fit enough to dig out the garden for the pond, rewire the whole house (including the channelling out of the brickwork for the wires), put in our own central heating system, and plaster walls. I was highly motivated, and had a strong, hard-working streak running through me, having grown up in a family of similarly strong, hard-working women who had been able to set to and get stuff done, with or without any men around!
But over the last few years, I started to notice more and more aches and pains and just put them down to getting older. Then some days, even sitting at the computer to work became painful. The joints in my hand ached just from holding the mouse, and my head felt too heavy for my neck, so my neck ached leading to severe migraines, several times a week. Sometimes, the fatigue was so bad, I couldn’t even lie on my side in bed and hold my smartphone so I could carry on reading a document I was working on.
An initial diagnosis of fibromyalgia occurred in May 2011, which made some sense of how I was feeling. But it was still quite a bitter pill to swallow at the time as being told there is no treatment for fibro is not something a busy, self-employed, home-educating, house-renovating single Mum wants to hear! I had been hoping I was just a bit run-down, as I had big plans to build up my business and stabilise my family’s financial future by taking on extra mortgage, and didn’t want my ‘stupid body’ to ruin everything for me!
However, I don’t like to just look on the down side of things, even when it might be hard to see a positive side to a clinical diagnosis of a seemingly incurable, genetic condition! I like to find the humour in a situation where I can, as it lessens the negative impact and effect on my mood, so here’s MY silly take on this latest life ‘challenge’…
People with EDS can do things with their bodies that are considered beyond ‘normal’ for human beings; there’s another name for people like us – Superheroes! Think about it! In comic books, our so-called ‘defect’ would be considered a super power! Disney Pixar even made a Superhero with powers like ours; Elastigirl from The Incredibles! She’s extra bendy, just like us, and her nemesis was actually called ‘Syndrome’! Maybe Helen Parr has EDS…?!
I don’t want my boys growing up with the belief that there is something ‘wrong’ with their bodies, so I believe we can choose to embrace the body we were born into and see it as ‘special’, instead of ‘defective’! At the very least, my boys have been having fun freaking out their friends at school with the ways they can bend their hands and fingers into positions that would make a grown man wince!
Alex, my 10 year old, was actually chuffed to be told he has EDS; he said it was cool to have a syndrome because it made him ‘different’! And who knows? Maybe EDS IS a step on the evolutionary path to some humans becoming like the X-Men; “a subspecies of humanity who are born with superhuman abilities”… 😀
We can’t control the kind of life we were born into, nor the kind of body. We can’t control all the things that will happen to us as we journey through life. We CAN control how we choose to see these things though. We can see them as a life sentence, or a gift disguised as a challenge. We can try to see the bigger picture and teach our children to do the same. We can take a spiritual perspective and see it as a life lesson, chosen before we were even born. We can try to find something funny about our life challenges. We can even think of them as ‘cool’!
I’ve just been reading an ebook by Dr Robert Anthony, and in it was a lesson about the Titanic, which I’m going to paraphrase as I think it holds an important message.
As you probably know, the Titanic was the largest ship of her time and sank in the Atlantic whilst on her maiden voyage, with the loss of many lives. At the time she sank, there was another ship just 30 miles away, the California. Radio communication was in its infancy during this time and the only radio operator on board the California has closed down for the night and gone to bed. An hour later, the Titanic was sending out desperate SOS pleas. But the nearest ship, which could have arrived quickly and saved many lives, just did not hear those pleas and carried on, oblivious to the distress close by.
As we sail on the sea of life, people around us are going to hit proverbial icebergs too and cry out for help. But humans don’t shout out ‘SOS’ or ‘Help me’. Instead, they behave in angry ways, or are sarcastic, or sulky, or in any way that may be considered ‘attention-seeking’. You even hear people saying “Just ignore him; he’s just looking for attention”.
If someone is looking for attention, they have a need to be seen, for someone to notice them. Their behaviour is their way of sending out an SOS.
So MY plea to you today, and every day, is to not hear “I hate you”, but to hear the SOS behind it that says “Please love me; I’m hurt, I’m lost, I’m lonely”. Don’t hear “Mind your own business” but “Help me; I’m lonely and need love” Please see the Titanics all around us that need our help and offer it with love. Because we’ve probably ALL been Titanics at some point in our lives….