Category: Relationships

6 Secrets for a Happy Marriage

6 Secrets for a Happy Marriage

Unfortunately, there aren’t many classes in high school or college that teach us how to be successful in long-term relationships and divorce is common. That’s regrettable, because a fulfilling relationship can contribute so much toward enjoying a happy and successful life.

There are many things you can do to strengthen your marriage and help make it last until death do you part. If you want to have the best chance of marital success, it’s a wise idea to learn some of these strategies.

Researchers have shared these tips on how to strengthen marriages and make them last:

    1. Have realistic expectations. It’s easy to make it through the early stages of a relationship when everything is new and exciting. But those annoying little habits aren’t quite as cute and endearing ten years into the future. A relationship requires work and energy to grow and thrive.
    2. Become good at saying “I’m sorry.” Despite your best efforts, you’ll make mistakes in your marriage. Studies have shown that the people slowest to apologize are the ones most likely to stay single or get divorced.
        • Sometimes you have to decide if you’d rather be correct or happy. Be strong enough to say you’re sorry and move on.
    3. It’s okay to argue in a respectful way. The presence of arguing in a relationship doesn’t affect its success as much as how a couple argues. One psychologist claims a 95% success rate for predicting which relationships would fail just by listening to an argument for five minutes!
        • The four factors that make all the difference when you argue are: contempt, defensiveness, criticism, and withdrawing. Avoid these behaviours and your marriage is more likely to survive.
    4. Laugh together. Remember the good times you’ve shared. Talk about and relive them. Reminiscing about fun times helps keep couples together.
        • Consider creating some happy, new memories and remind your partner about the great times you’ve already enjoyed. Laughing together strengthens your marriage!
    5. You need five good times for each bad one. Research has shown that marriages require at least five positive interactions for each negative one. What is a good interaction? A fun afternoon, a positive conversation, or a good hug. You know what a negative interaction is.
    6. You can complain, but avoid criticizing. If your partner’s behaviour is bothering you, it’s okay to point it out and ask them to stop. But, avoid attacking your partner. You can say, “It drives me crazy when you throw your dirty socks all over the floor.” But avoid saying, “You’re such a slob. What’s your problem?”
        • Most people can accept that they might be doing something bothersome. However, that’s different from being personally attacked.

A happy marriage is important for you and your children. There are times when we all have to put our own needs aside and do whatever we can to strengthen our relationships. These tips will help you work toward a happy partnership as you give your marriage the time and attention it deserves.

6 Myths That Can Prevent You From Finding Love

6 Myths That Can Prevent You From Finding Love

There’s little doubt that finding the love of your life would be a wonderful thing. But those seeking love often sabotage their efforts by believing several, common myths. It’s much more challenging to find true love if your beliefs are inaccurate. Examine these myths and see how many you currently believe.

Clear your thinking by examining these common love myths:

  1. Your perfect partner will find you. There’s no evidence to suggest that fate plays a role in finding your ideal mate. The more responsibility you take for your life, the more likely you are to find a successful match.
    • Keep your eyes open and be prepared to act when the right opportunity comes along.
    • Who do you think will have more success: the person that goes out with a few new people each month that meet his criteria? Or the person that stays home on the couch and declares that he’ll leave his love life in the hands of fate?
  2. Playing hard to get is the way to a man or woman’s heart. Those that like to play games or have a lot of self-confidence can enjoy the chase. But most of us are attracted to those who show a genuine interest.
    • That doesn’t mean professing your love after the second date. But waiting a week to return a phone call will leave the other person assuming you don’t have any interest.
  3. Love will happen naturally. Love and relationships are hard work. It’s true that most great relationships are very easy in the beginning, but the beginning doesn’t last for long. One famous relationship expert stated, “Love isn’t a game. It’s a blood sport.”
    • What if your natural environment doesn’t have any suitable prospects? Love will never happen in this case until you step outside of your natural environment. Take control of your life.
  4. A great relationship is always 50/50. It will hardly ever be 50/50. Your partner will get sick, have a bad day, suffer a midlife crisis, and have the occasional bad mood. So will you. During those times your partner isn’t at his best, you’ll have to do more of the heavy lifting. Hopefully, the favour will be returned in the future.
  5. All the good men and women are already taken. Many of the good ones are taken, but many of the good ones are still out there. There are plenty of great people looking for someone just like you.
    • The pickings can get a little slimmer as you get older, but they’re out there. Unfortunately, they’re also more likely to be at home as they get older. Make yourself available by having an active life. Someone else will have the same strategy.
  6. You’ll know in the first couple of dates if they’re the one. It’s easy to be excited during the first six months of a new relationship. This honeymoon period feels good, and your partner seems perfect.
  • The next six months are a more accurate test. Those quirky behaviours that seemed so charming start to lose their charm. Real life starts to creep into your fantasy world. If you’re still excited after six months, you can feel optimistic that you may have found a good match.

If finding love has been an exercise in futility, perhaps your belief system is getting in the way. When your beliefs are accurate, you can create an effective course of action. Be proactive and keep a positive attitude. You never know where your perfect partner is hiding.

5 Ways to Nurture a Positive Relationship

5 Ways to Nurture a Positive Relationship

A positive relationship can be one of the most wonderful things in the world, while a negative one can turn your life into a disaster!

Do you yearn to cultivate a positive relationship with your partner and help it grow stronger? Having a positive relationship takes effort from both of you, but you can get it started. Your partner will surely enjoy the benefits and follow your lead.

Here are five important techniques you can use to nurture your relationship:

  1. Give 100%. First and foremost, if you want to build a relationship that’s positive, passionate, and withstanding, you need to give 100% of yourself. This is one of the most important things for success, not only in your relationships, but life in general.
    • There’s no “50/50” when it comes to giving in a relationship. You’ve got to give freely of yourself if it’s going to work. It’s almost impossible to receive from your partner if you don’t give in return.
    • Remember the golden rule. When you fully give of yourself, the other person will see the effort you’re making and soon begin to reciprocate with the same type of behaviour.
  2. Focus on loving your partner. In nurturing a positive relationship, your main focus should be on simply loving your partner. Show your love in both your words and actions, in all you say and do.
    • The expression “actions speak louder than words,” is definitely true when it comes to a relationship. However, your partner still wants to hear you say, “I love you.”
    • Be generous with compliments and mean what you say.
  3. Use charitable acts. The things you do for your partner make a difference in your relationship. When you love someone, acts of kindness toward him or her come naturally.
    • No action should be done just because you feel obligated to do it. The things you do for your partner should be done because you want to do them.
    • Remember, your actions are more important than your words, so use them to help build up a relationship that’s naturally positive.
  4. Respect your partner. Always respect your partner in every way to build a lasting and positive relationship with them. Respect is an important building block of any relationship.

    • Respect your partner not only in a physical sense, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well.
  5. Build a strong friendship. Your romantic relationship needs to have the stability and deep roots that come from a strong friendship. With a meaningful friendship as its basis, your relationship becomes stronger and more lasting.
  • When you work hard to construct a strong friendship, you can be assured that your relationship is ready to weather whatever life may throw at you in the future.

If your goal is to create a stronger bond with your partner, take the time to think about what it is you’d like from your partner. Give those things to your partner, and you’ll almost always find the answers you seek about how to create a nurturing relationship.

Following these five steps can have a positive impact on any relationship. Once you begin taking care of your relationship and making a conscious effort to improve it, you’ll see a stronger, more positive bond flourishing before your eyes.

5 Ways to Move On After Your Breakup

5 Ways to Move On After Your Breakup

Whether it is a short-term casual relationship, long-term serious relationship, or a marriage gone awry, you might experience a challenging breakup. You could even be going through a split right now.

Sometimes, relationships end despite our best efforts. Whatever the case, it’s a smart idea to have some expert strategies in your emotional toolbox to navigate those waters, should they develop.

Apply these methods to help you survive the end of a relationship:

  1. Take time to ponder what’s happened to you. It’s common to try to work extra hours, stay away from home, or avoid being alone to prevent having to emotionally face the absence of a partner.
    • However, you’ll gain a better understanding of what’s happened if you spend some moments identifying the events that led to the break-up.
    • This step may be tough for you to do. If so, limit the time you’ll allow yourself to think about the relevant facts of the situation to a half-hour a day.
  2. Get together with friends and family. Resting your mind and emotions from the recent trauma of the breakup helps you heal. Leaning on those you love will help tremendously when it comes to your recovery. It also provides a welcome distraction.
  3. Perform a positive personal inventory. You’re likely aware of what your not-so-positive traits are. But at this time in your life, you’ll be well on your way to surviving the breakup if you consider your strengths.
    • Maybe you’re tall, dark, and handsome with an analytical mind. Perhaps you have beautiful brown eyes and an incredible way of making others feel comfortable around you.
    • The point is to remind yourself of all your positive qualities so you’ll realize you still have a lot going for you.
    • Make your list as long as possible. You could use the boost right now.
  4. Listen to your own feelings about whether to have contact with your ex-partner. If your former partner texts or calls saying, “Let’s remain friends,” after the break-up, take your time and decide whether or not you really want to do that.
    • They may call you a month later and invite you to meet for coffee. It’s your decision. Are you ready to see them? Do you want to try to maintain “friendly” contact?
    • Do what feels comfortable for you. Frankly, what’s best for you in such a complex situation is difficult to surmise. Follow your instincts.
    • Of course, if there was prior emotional or physical abuse in the relationship, saying “no” to future contact is likely the best choice.
  5. Try something new. Get yourself out of your own head and back in to the mainstream of life. Challenge yourself to learn something new or pursue a hidden passion. To illustrate, consider the following suggestions as examples of putting your toe in unfamiliar, yet fascinating waters:
  • Volunteer for the child-mentoring agency you’ve been interested in for the last few years,
  • Take a course in Music History at your local community college.
  • Join a local club that does fund-raising for charities.
  • Learn a new skill, like wood-crafting, making stained glass, or jewellery-making,

Although it’s true a tough breakup is no fun to go through, rest assured you have the ability to help yourself survive this challenging life event.

You’re the master of your choices and your life. As the natural healing process takes place after a split, you’ll discover the confidence to say, “I will have a great life from now on” and mean it.

5 Tips to Strengthen Your Relationship

5 Tips to Strengthen Your Relationship

Because all relationships grow and change over time, even if you have a great relationship, there may be times when you feel like your bond could be stronger.

Consider these tips to fortify your partnership:

  1. Take your partner’s side. To continue to grow an enriching, loving relationship, consistently advocate for your partner’s position, whether you agree with them or not. If you promise yourself to always be on the same side, then there will be fewer situations that divide you.
    • Although disagreement can be appropriate, do so with tact and love instead of fighting. Let your differences lead to discussions that help you understand each other better rather than divide you. These types of honest discussions reinforce the love and respect you share.
  2. Release past hurts. If you’ve been holding on to emotional pain related to your current partner or a past one, let it go. Keeping the hurt inside can stifle the love and affection you want in your relationship.
    • If the pain results from your current partner’s actions, resolve the past situation so you can let go of that pain and move forward with your relationship.
    • Letting go of past hurts allow you to feel freer to love and be close to your partner.
  3. Be willing to try something new. If you want to truly connect with your partner, embrace the activities he loves to do. Even though the particular pastime may not be your cup of tea, show willingness to engage in his beloved activities with him.
    • For example, if your partner invites you to go to a football game, you don’t have to be a fan to go and enjoy yourself. Look at it this way: you’ll be there to share something really special with your love. He’ll be thrilled to have you there and will most likely recognize the sacrifice you made to share the experience with him.
  4. Lose the need to be right. Winning arguments with your partner is overrated. After all, what value does being right really have? Insisting that the other person agree that you’re right and they’re wrong does nothing to increase positive feelings or strengthen the bond between you.
    • Try focusing, instead, on accepting that there will be times when you might be correct and other times when he’s the one who’s right.
    • Sometimes, these situations can be better resolved by sorting out how you each feel so you can find a middle ground that can bring you closer together rather than determining who’s right or wrong.
  5. Celebrate your differences. Allow yourself to again experience the passion that brought you into the relationship. You have a responsibility to keep the flame going, which reinforces your connection. One way to do that is to truly embrace the ways in which you are different.

There are so many wonderful opportunities to ensure your partnership continues to blossom and grow stronger. Use these tips for inspiration to help you cultivate your cherished relationship and watch it thrive under your careful tending.

5 Tips to Overcome the Emotional Devastation of Divorce

5 Tips to Overcome the Emotional Devastation of Divorce

Divorce is terribly difficult. In addition to getting through all the details that divorce entails, you may feel abandoned, cheated on, and alone. It may bring you some comfort to know that many have been through it already, and now there are some proven techniques you can use to overcome the negative emotions and move forward.

Try these strategies to triumph over the emotional tribulations of your divorce:

  1. Remain calm. Going into a panic will make your challenges worse. When you remain calm, you’ll be better able to carry on with your daily obligations such as work and other responsibilities.
    • Seeing a counselor can help you work through your emotions. Just knowing that you have help in getting through this tough time makes it easier to remain calm as you tackle your challenges.
    • Practice stress-reducing techniques like meditation, positive self-talk, and taking part in activities that you enjoy. Schedule this time for yourself just as you would any other important activity.
    • Take time to reflect on what’s still good about your life. Even though everything seems to be falling apart, some good things remain. List them and read your list whenever you start to feel overwhelmed.

  2. Build an ample support system with friends and loved ones. When you have an ample support system, you’ll be able to feel more confident as you’re going through the divorce process.
    • Utilize friends, neighbors, or relatives for a sounding board if you need to.
    • They can also help with various other needs, such as daycare for children or helping with the household chores. Others will usually be glad to help. Just let them know what you need.
  3. Join a support group. A support group can offer many benefits. The members of the group have been through the same thing as what you’re going through. They will have all kinds of information to share on what they did to overcome different situations in their divorce.
    • If you run into bitter people in the group, and it’s overwhelming, try a different group.
  4. Wait to begin dating. When you’re fresh out of a divorce, it’s more comforting to have friends than to engage in a love relationship. You’ll be in a vulnerable position right after your divorce and having a relationship too soon will only lead to heartbreak.
    • When you start a relationship, you’ll want to be able to think about it in a positive way, without being bitter. These positive thoughts are hard to come by directly after your divorce.
  5. Remain cooperative with your ex-spouse. Especially if there are children involved, it’s beneficial for all of you if you can be civil to each other.
  • If you can’t remain cooperative at all, ensure that you have ample legal help for any difficulties that might arise.

Using these strategies will help to ease you through your divorce. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends, relatives, and neighbors. Contact a counselor or a local support group for more assistance. Overcoming divorce is a difficult process. Know that you’re not alone, and you’ll be able to get through it and move on.

5 Tips for Curing Your Pre-Wedding Jitters

5 Tips for Curing Your Pre-Wedding Jitters

Have you had a case of pre-wedding nerves? Although you’re looking forward to your wedding day, preparing for it may be stressful!

Pre-wedding jitters can become evident during the days leading up to the event, and may be extremely distracting on the actual wedding day. The goal of your big day is to relax and enjoy your special time with your beloved, family, and friends. With a little preparation, you can avoid those jitters completely.

If you’re approaching the big day, here are some helpful tips you can use to calm your nerves:

  1. Think of all the reasons why you love your partner. You’re getting married to someone you truly love – at least you should be! Bringing to mind those positive feelings will help flood you with joy whenever you start to feel anxious or nervous. Think about:
    • All the ways he or she has shown you that they love you.
    • A trait of theirs that you really cherish.
    • All of the things you have in common.
  2. Listen to soothing music. You may be surprised at how effective relaxing music can be at soothing anxiety. Whether you listen to mellow instrumentals or down-tempo jazz, the result will be the same. You’ll notice how much more relaxed you are after listening to gentle music in a quiet place.
  3. Get spiritually calm. You don’t have to be religious to be spiritual. Being spiritual just involves getting in touch with your inner strength and drawing on that to take you through challenges.
    • Spend some time with a spiritual leader. This can be someone who shares your faith. Or perhaps talk to a friend or family member whose advice you trust and radiates peace.
    • Meditate in the privacy of your bedroom or a luxurious, relaxing bath. You can also find peace and contentment meditating outdoors surrounded by the sights, sounds, and smells of nature. Connect with your inner self. From that connection you’ll be able to build your confidence and quell any doubts.
  4. Soak in a lavender bath. If curing those pre-wedding jitters means drawing yourself a lavender bath every time you feel antsy, just do it! Lavender is proven to have calming effects. Try soaking in a moderately warm, herb-infused bath for about fifteen minutes. It’ll help melt those jitters away!
  5. Laugh. When you laugh, your body releases stress-fighting substances. Laughter helps you relax and release tension. Call a friend with a great sense of humour and tell them that you need a little perspective on your big day. Check out a comedy show or a funny movie. Whatever you choose to help you laugh, fully engage with it. That way, you’ll get the most out of your precious relaxation time.

Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life. You and your partner have made every effort to ensure the day goes smoothly. Be sure to plan a little time to relax beforehand. Then you’ll have the memorable, fulfilling wedding you’ve been dreaming of!

5 Steps to More Fulfilling Relationships

5 Steps to More Fulfilling Relationships

Relationships are the “stuff of life.” They make even the most trying and stressful days worth it, since we know that at the end of those days, we have someone special that we can enjoy feelings of closeness with.

Numerous studies on various groups of people from all walks of life have found that one of the most common factors attributing to an overall sense of happiness and well-being is having quality and satisfying relationships.

Spending time to make your relationships more satisfying can be one of the best investments you can make in your own happiness!

Follow these steps to help make your relationship the best ever:

  1. Spend time getting to know your partner. This simple yet effective strategy is an answer to all of those who spend time worrying about whether or not their partner likes them. This time could be better spent getting to know your partner and finding out things you never knew about them.
    • Taking time out of the day to ask about your partner can bring you two closer and set the foundation for a more intimate relationship. It’s important to be patient, as your partner may not open up to you right away.
    • You can start by talking about light topics such as hobbies and interests before delving into deeper, more emotionally significant content.
  2. Don’t shy away from your differences. Many partners seem to think that they must be completely compatible in every way. This is simply not the case.
    • Some of the strongest relationships are made up of people that have significant differences in likes and preferences. Acknowledging the differences between one another can help to make a relationship more exciting and interesting.
    • How boring would life be if the person we were with liked everything that we did? We might as well be dating ourselves!
  3. Show love to your partner. It’s so easy to get caught up in the routines of our busy lives. We may ignore or be short with our loved one without even realizing it. That’s okay – it happens.
    • However, being aware of those time so that you can take steps to compensate can make the difference between a relationship that slowly drifts apart and one that brings you two closer than ever.
  4. Schedule time to be with your partner. This is one of the most important ingredients to a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
    • Sometimes, in your busy life, setting aside specific time to be with your loved one may be the only time you two get together.
    • Making time for each other doesn’t have to be a difficult process. Hanging out one night with your partner and comparing schedules will help you both easily recognize and free time you both might have.
  5. Listen to your partner. Although your day may not have been a whirlwind, your partner’s very well may have been. Lending a judgement-free and understanding ear to listen to the trials and tribulations that your partner has faced throughout the day can be therapeutic for both of you.
  • Everyone wants to feel listened to and this can help go a long way towards adding a deep sense of satisfaction to your relationship.

Follow these steps and you’ll be well on your way to a more satisfying and fulfilling relationship!

4 Quick Strategies to Turn Limited Time Into Quality Time

4 Quick Strategies to Turn Limited Time Into Quality Time

Do you get to spend enough quality time with the people who mean the most in your life? You try to enjoy time together, but life always seems to get in the way, doesn’t it?

Luckily, life doesn’t have to be like this. Regardless of how busy you are, you can create quality time, even with limited hours. Plus, you’ll feel lighter and more joyful as you unburden yourself of those guilty, nagging feelings of insufficiency.

Try these strategies to add quality to your relationships – a few minutes at a time:

  1. Take a few moments to call. Simply making a quick call to your loved one is enough to tell them how important they are to you! Even when you can only spare a couple of minutes to talk, the fact that you cared enough to call will lift the heart of someone you love.
    • Instead of debating with your co-worker about whose responsibility it was to reload the photocopier with paper, why not do it yourself and spare a few extra minutes to make that call?
    • Regardless of whether your lunch break is 30 minutes, 45 minutes, or an hour, you can always reserve five minutes to phone a loved one.
  2. Share a favorite takeout meal. Until recently, your options for sharing a meal with someone special were either to cook it yourself or spend a few hours at a restaurant. Those options are obviously too time-consuming when you’re crunched for time. So, why not share a favorite takeout meal at home?
    • Order your favorite dish from the Chinese restaurant down the street and pick it up on the way home. You can enjoy it together as soon as you walk through the door and you’ll still have enough time to complete tomorrow’s presentation for work.
  3. Agree on dedicated time together each day. In the same way you schedule staff meetings or training sessions at the office, make it a point to schedule time each day to dedicate to that special person.
    • Whether you’re enjoying a movie together or just staring into each other’s eyes doesn’t really matter – sticking to that “together time” is what’s important.
    • If life is so hectic that you can only spare one hour a day, then make that hour count!
    • You spend most of your time navigating your busy schedule. Isn’t it only fair to spend some uninterrupted time living your life?
  4. Send gifts and special notes. Surprisingly, it’s possible to spend “time” together without actually being in the same place! Take a few minutes to let your loved one know you’re thinking of them. Send a gift to someone who means the world to you and it’ll feel like you are together. Be sure to include a note that says how you feel!
  • It doesn’t have to be flowers or candy. Do you remember him pointing out a tie he liked in the store window downtown? Buy it and have it delivered with a note that says, “Even when we’re not together, I’m still thinking of you.”

In order to make all your hard work count for something, you naturally want to have special people around to share in your successes. Follow these tips and keep them around by strengthening your relationship each day with quality time – in less time.

Every contraction
Every Time
Never be so afraid

4 Keys to an Honest and Successful New Relationship

4 Keys to an Honest and Successful New Relationship

Starting a new relationship can be difficult, as it takes a great deal of time and effort. If important details are omitted during those first few formative conversations, you could be looking at a rocky road ahead.

Starting with a strong foundation of friendship and trust is important when you’re building a new relationship. A foundation built on honesty can mean the difference between a healthy relationship and one that leaves much to be desired.

Consider these keys to an honest and successful new relationship:

  1. Share the reasons why your last relationship ended. It’s not only fair, but also important for your new dating partner to understand what caused the breakup of your last relationship. This is especially true if you’re to blame. Your honesty and candidness will be appreciated.
    • Showing this new person that you’re remorseful about your past actions allows them to see how you’ve learned from your past and wish to do things differently now.
    • By sharing your past relationship challenges, you could avoid repeating them.
    • If this new person doesn’t stick around after your outpouring, chances are they weren’t the one after all. Don’t worry – your match is still out there waiting for you!
  2. Discuss what you’re looking for in this relationship. Try not to paint a false picture of your expectations. Your new friend might feel flattered to hear that you see a “lifelong mate” in them, but be honest about wanting to take things slowly if that’s where your head is.
    • Explain your feelings about what you want from this relationship and justify the reasons. Maturity goes a long way in getting the most out of any situation.
    • Be prepared to give the same things you expect so both parties are treated fairly. Remember that a relationship is a two way street.
  3. Divulge your strengths and weaknesses. It’s natural to want to put your best foot forward when being courted by someone new, but the easiest way to lose that person’s trust is to portray yourself as somebody you’re not. Show a willingness to reveal your weaknesses, as well. Vulnerability goes a long way in inspiring the trust of others.
    • Let your new partner know that you don’t always have the best advice, but you’re the best listener in the world!
    • Explain that you sometimes require encouragement to pursue something intimidating that you’ve always wanted to try, but haven’t.
  4. Avoid sacrificing your morals for love. Even if you feel your new love interest is the biggest blessing, it’s important to be honest about certain issues you can’t tolerate or those that might be deal breakers.
  • Once you get things out in the open, there’s a choice. If the love is real, the person will understand your morals and respect your position.
  • It’s important to express your emotions when your new friend does something you don’t like so it’s clear that you don’t want it to happen again.
  • Remember that your beliefs make you the person you are. Avoid becoming somebody else for the sake of love!

Never be so afraid

The sooner you address potential issues in an honest way, the closer you’ll be to building a strong, healthy relationship with someone special. Honesty is always the best policy! If being honest doesn’t give you the results you want, maybe it wasn’t meant to be, and something better is in store for you!