And this is what studies have also shown ‘extinction methods’ of sleep training such as crying it out do to babies and children. As a culture we seem to be very uncomfortable with the sound of anyone crying, and I suspect this is because we have long learned to silence our own cries. So the sound of someone else giving voice to their own pain or discomfort triggers our own unheard feelings. This triggering of discomfort in ourselves is an indication that we need to heal our own pain and learn again to listen to our own feelings, and express them safely.
This idea also takes us right back to the importance of attachment and connection between babies and their caregivers 🙂 I don’t know why it seems so hard for modern society to grasp but we are a species that NEEDS attachments and social connections to thrive, and when we don’t get those, it creates social challenges, the consequences of which then spread out and affect many of us. Connection is key to solving a fair amount of societies ‘problems’, from what I’ve seen and researched over the years…
Louise Hay attributes all physical health conditions to lack of love for the self. Instead of telling yourself negative messages, try mirror work and tell yourself how much you love everything about you. As this clip from a Luc Besson film shows though, that can be incredibly challenging if you’ve criticised yourself for most of your life.
So start small! Find one thing to genuinely love about yourself and compliment yourself on that first. It could be something as simple as the colour of your eyes, or the fact that you treat people kindly. Keep repeating the message, until it feels easy, then find something else and build on the foundation of self-love you are creating. Find a time when you’ll be able to do it every day, perhaps whilst you’re brushing your teeth and already standing in front of a mirror anyway.
Leonie Dawson’s Shining Biz and Life Academy – a place of love, nurturing, support and compassion, along with eCourses, meditations, and other resources to help you Love Your Life even more! I’ve been a member for years and have gained so much from being part of this special community on the ‘net 🙂
“The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is”
My wonderful 9 year old son is so much like Jim Carrey! He is deeply sensitive to other people’s negative emotions and he tries so hard to transform those into positive ones by making people laugh. His auntie came to meet him when he was just a few hours old, looked into his eyes, and saw the light and laughter in them, even then. She declared that he was going to be a ‘cheeky little chap’, and he is indeed! He’s ‘the class joker’, the one who loves to make people giggle and raise their vibration. Interestingly though, he doesn’t like performing on stage – he’s a one-to-one person, tuning into individual feelings and doing what he can to help them feel better, whether it’s offering a hug, encouragement and support, or a silly joke to make them laugh.
What can YOU do today, with YOUR talents, to leave people feeling better after an interaction with you/your work…?
As we come to the end of a year and look towards the new one, it can be a time of unsettlement in our minds. Our minds start to ask us questions as we attempt to evaluate and judge our worth against some benchmark we’ve mentally created; “What did I achieve this year?”, “What losses did I incur?”, “Did I achieve my goals?”, “Did I even bother to SET any goals?”, and then we can slip into a sense of ourselves as a failure when we don’t ‘measure up’ to our preconceived expectations.
We can mentally put pressure on ourselves JUST by focussing on the concept of a year as a finite resource, which is contrary to the concept that the universe is abundant. So we look at that concept of these 365/6 days defined as ‘2015’ and imagine we have to achieve X,Y,Z by the time they are ‘over’.
But that’s a mental construct that keeps us trapped into limited thinking. How about seeing each new day as the start of the next cycle of 365/6 days, and giving up the idea that any goal is to be achieved within the limited container of the 365 days that have been called ‘2015’, or we’re a ‘failure’?
My 2015, as our part of the world calls it, has been pretty bloody awful in many ways; lots of letting go and releasing old attachments, illness etc etc. But there were also some highlights in there too, which I’ve added to my Page of Gratitude 🙂 I’d previously written off this cycle of 365 days as unlikely to achieve anything positive in for my business, due to all the personal challenges and transformations I’ve been going through. BUT today I’ve signed up to start a 30 day challenge for December with a biz mastermind group I’m a member of, and I’m going to see what I CAN get done between my self-care days (what I call the ‘bad days’ when I don’t feel well enough to do anything!), and see today as the start of a new cycle of 365 days to move forward from!
Just because the rest of the world tells you a year starts on Jan 1st doesn’t mean you have to stick with that thinking! Nature didn’t define Jan 1st as the start of her new year – she just continues on her journey each day, regardless of the mental constructs some of us humans place on defining and labelling her 🙂 If she HAD to choose a date to label as her new year, she’d have probably chosen a time when she was in a state of renewal, like Spring. But then, we can’t even define THAT properly because the concept of Spring differs depending on where in the world you are! Which is why it’s kind of ridiculous to slap labels onto nature in the first place 😉
We can take that view too and start exactly where we’re at right now! In those terms, nothing has failed ‘this year’ because a 365 day cycle is constantly renewing itself, just like our whole bodies are in a constant state of renewal!
Hope that helps shift your perspective to a more positive place!