Author: Arlette

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How To Give This Christmas, At NO Cost To Yourself!

My sister has the same genetic condition as me and my children (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome). She strives hard to live a normal life as much as possible and has such a strong spirit!

She has worked so hard over the years to make the best of what cards she was dealt with, but sometimes we all need a little help in life too! In order for her to treat some of her symptoms, she is having to have multiple painful surgeries over the next year, but the NHS don’t fund them either!

So in order to try and help herself live as normal as life as possible she is having to get herself into debt by borrowing money to pay for this surgery. This is where you could help please, at NO cost to yourself!

Lots of you will be doing your Christmas shopping online over the next few weeks and many of the typical stores you’ll be shopping from (Argos, Amazon, Tesco) will give a donation, with NO extra cost on your shopping, to help fund my sister’s surgeries!

It doesn’t cost you a penny extra!  When you shop the Easyfundraising way with one of their 3,214 shops and sites, they give a commission for your purchase. Easyfundraising turns that into a donation and gives it to your good cause. Easy!

So you can shop online, AND help someone I love to reduce the pain she lives with EVERY DAY of her life, at NO cost to yourself – I call that a win-win 👍☺

So please spread a little extra Christmas cheer this year by clicking the link below to register, then using the service whenever you shop online at the associated stores ☺

And please share this link far and wide and ask others to do the same!

You have nothing to lose and someone else has everything to gain!

Thank you SO much and much love to you all ☺❤

The cause to search for is “Lipoedema surgery fund – Lindsey Hirst” or you can click the link below

Uncovering the Links Between Emotional Trauma and Feeling Triggered

This is why it’s so important A) to do your own healing work before becoming parents, B) to be aware of the current research into attachment and children’s brain development, and the parenting practices that both contribute to it and can harm it, and C) learn how to help your children express their emotions so their own issues don’t remain ‘unresolved’ ❤

 

“NICABM and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy are at the cutting edge of uncovering the links between trauma reactions embedded in the limbic system and inappropriate, uncontrolled reactive behaviours being triggered by outward stimuli.

These defensive reactions – fight, flight, freeze, attachment seeking (sometimes inappropriate), submission/folding/giving up – are evolutionary survival strategies embedded and embodied. They are at the root of attacking others and ourselves. They lie at the heart of the human condition.

Any form of trauma that is unresolved remains “watchfully” nascent within parts of the brain, ready to trigger the defensive reactions whenever resonant circumstances arise in our day to day life.

Early trauma… especially failures in development due to repeated absence of bodily and physiological safety needs along with failures to belong, to be loved, to be esteemed (see Maslow) leave us “chained” to our defences rather than “free to Be” in the world.”

Why the Birth Class you Want isn’t Necessarily the One You Need

This is so well written and completely true! Yes, I am passionate about empowering women to draw on their inner strength and birth in a way that research supports (such as keeping in upright positions as much as possible so that they can work with gravity, being aware that mindset and environment can have detrimental effects on the physiological processes of the birth hormones, etc).

But equally, all the affirmations and positive thinking in the world wouldn’t change the fact that I have a defective gene that greatly increases my risk of postpartum haemorrhage (something I didn’t know I had when I had my first two births).

My last birth was a planned home birth in water, and I had intended to have a physiological third stage, just as I had done with my first two births. The birth itself went beautifully but only 6 minutes after he was born, it was clear that there was an issue with blood loss. So we got out of the pool and I chose to have syntometrine, AND later, ergometrine, to stem the bleeding.

Even with these drugs, I still lost 2 litres of blood, and our planned first night with our new baby in our own bed turned into a transfer in an ambulance and a first night with me in hospital with the baby, and my partner at home alone! But because we had stayed open to whatever unfolds, we were able to deal with this change of plan without drama and upset, and accept that this was the way things were without blame or guilt (although we did jokingly comment that it was all my Grandma’s fault for giving me the dodgy gene in the first place!).

So I believe it’s wiser to prepare for birth by planning to do the best you can in each moment, and having the attitude of staying open-minded as each moment unfolds, staying present and not fixated on a vision of birth as you think it ‘should’ be.

I was aware that I had this condition and that it could cause issues. But many women might never find out what caused their need for intervention, and blame themselves for somehow ‘failing’ in their inability to birth ‘naturally. This can potentially lead to birth trauma, PTSD, postnatal depression, etc, none of which is in the best interests of the new family <3

https://yourbirthsupport.com/2017/08/18/the-birth-class-you-want-and-the-birth-class-you-need-arent-always-the-same-one/?mc_cid=c7fb29e8e9&mc_eid=0dfeeb284e